


As They Spread

by galacticmistake



Category: South Park
Genre: Ambush, Bar Fight, Bar Room Brawl, Canon ages, Evil Plans, Forced Marriage, Gen, Isolation, Kidnapping, Marriage, Nightmares, Poison, Poisoning, Relaxation, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Spa Night, Stick of Truth AU, Wedding, Wedding Dress Design, Wedding Planning, but kids, sabatoge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-08-21 04:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16569737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticmistake/pseuds/galacticmistake
Summary: Tensions are running high in Kupa Keep... but no one knows why. Their king has been keeping secrets, and those secrets may have to do with a certain maiden. (Stick of Truth/Black Friday universe) (More in tune with canon)





	1. Prolouge

For the past week, tensions have been running high in the kingdom of Kupa Keep. Nobody trusts anyone anymore.

The Grand Wizard has been oddly secretive, and no one knows where the princess is. Normally, she's out and about: browsing shops, striking conversations, smelling flowers.

But, all of a sudden, she just stopped engaging with the kingdom. She went silent. Secretive, almost.

Could this have anything to do with the Grand Wizard?


	2. I

If there was anyone in Kupa Keep who was hungry for power, it was the Grand Wizard. He was known throughout the kingdom to do anything he could to get attention and power, but this didn't exactly make him popular.

However, recently, he had discovered a way to get the kingdom to really listen to him.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

It was a sunny, summer's day. The garden popped with flowers in many different shades. The sun shined down on the Grand Wizard as he sat in the shade of an evergreen tree with his most trusted paladin. 

"Paladin Butters. You understand what it's like to no one listen to you, correct?"

"Well, yeah. I don't have as much power as you."

"That's the thing, though. I don't have much power. I'm not... an official leader."

"Your point, sire?"

"What can I do to push myself higher?"

For the next few minutes, all that could be heard was the breeze as it blew through the leaves. 

"Oh, I know! You can become the official king!" replied the paladin. 

"How do I do that?"

"You have to marry a princess. Actually, doesn't Princess Kenny like you a bit?"

"She does. Are you suggesting that I marry her?"

"Do you want to become king?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The Grand Wizard ran directly into the Princess, nearly crushing her. She was somewhat used to this, as she wasn't the most graceful of ladies herself. 

After standing up and dusting herself off, she looked down to find the Wizard on one knee, holding a blue Ring Pop. 

"Princess Kenny," he inquired her, "will you be the queen to my king?"

"Are you asking me to marry you?" she asked. "Well, I feel like you're only asking because you want to become king. But, I do like you."

"So," she said as she reached her hand out to accept the candy ring, "my answer is yes."


	3. II

Meanwhile, similar events were occurring in the Elf Kingdom. 

As the High Jew Elf paced about, drowning in thoughts of how to outsmart the kingdom of Kupa Keep, something immediately popped into his mind.

"What if I marry a princess and become king? Then, truly, I can overpower that wizard." he thought to himself. "Yeah. That'll show him. Stupid, idiot wizard'll get so owned."

Suddenly, a warrior with raven hair appeared before him.

"High Elf, I bring you news from the neighboring kingdom."

"Oh? What is this news?"

The warrior held out a folded piece of notebook paper with a chain of flowers drawn on the bottom, which provided an emphasis on the words, "You're Invited!" which were written in bubblegum pink marker. 

The High Elf took the paper, eyed it over, and replied, 

"I will read this over in my chamber. If needed, I will call you and other warriors to discuss a plan of action."

The warrior nodded and walked off into the crowd of elves.

The High Jew Elf knew not what this slip contained, but he would find out fairly soon.


	4. III

48 hours before...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Princess Kenny sat in isolation in her chamber. Her long blond hair was given creme highlights in the bright summer sun, which also made tiny mirrors of her diamond earrings.

She had not dreamed of being married before, and even if she were to marry, it would not be to the Grand Wizard. Instead, it was the blond Paladin who truly had her heart.

But, alas... they were never meant to be...

Being alone for the past 5 days was starting to take it's toll. Instead of being outside in the sunshine and fresh air, she was cooped up in her chamber, breathing stale air and most likely acquiring a Vitamin D deficiency. 

What she missed most, however, was frequently finding company in her dearest friends, who had no idea where she was or what was to come.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Not long after 3pm came some company. At the door stood a maiden named Wendy. However, due her outspoken nature, she was less liked than the princess. But, that didn't mean that the 2 didn't have a somewhat meaningful connection.

Wendy was tasked with designing and crafting the princess' wedding dress, all within 1 week. She did rise to the challenge, and by the 3rd day, Kenny had been fitted in the dress. The only missing component was something blue.

And that component was soon to be discussed.


	5. IV

He thought he had the upper hand, yet here he was. Being invited to a wedding involving the leader of the kingdom he fought with most and the princess he had hoped to betrothe. 

So, as any leader would do, he called a meeting with all of his best warriors. And when he called, he received a group of odd, yet powerful individuals who were ready to fight. They were: Warrior Stan, Feldspar the Thief, Tweek the Barbarian, and 4 other goth kids. 

The meeting commenced, and everyone had ideas to throw around.

"Lace the floor of the ceremony with broken glass!" Feldspar the Thief suggested.

"No! That would be too obvious! And culturally insensitive!" Cried out Warrior Stan.

"Solid idea. I'm up for it, and it's not too insensitive to me." The High Jew Elf proclaimed. "But, not my first pick. Keep throwing ideas out." 

"Poison their crops!" said the youngest of the goths. 

"Oh! I could cover my arrows in poison and shoot them at the Grand Wizard!" Tweek the Barbarian shouted out.

"Wait! I have an idea!"  

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

After 3 hours of debating and re-arranging, they finally had a plan. 

1)Cause no ruckus at the ceremony.   
2)Lace the princess' drink with a non-lethal poison.  
3)Serve the drink to the princess  
4)Wait for the poison to take effect  
5)After the poison takes effect, Warrior Stan starts a sword fight with the Grand Wizard  
6)Storm the festivities with fighters and start a fight with everyone in attendance  
7)Whisk the princess away to the Elf Kingdom   
8)Marry the Princess  
9)Be seen as the ultimate kingdom 

Everyone in attendance nodded in agreement. It seemed like this plan would go smoothly and the High Jew Elf would have his revenge. 


	6. V

36 hours before...

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

No one would expect anyone to get drunk at 7am, and since most of the inhabitants of Kupa Keep were in the 4th grade, alcohol was out of the question, so they had "sparkling fairy ale" which was actually Vitamin Water. That was enough for them, though.

At roughly 7am, a fight began to break out near The Giggling Donkey. Being that it was Sunday morning, everyone was naturally exhausted from a long night of singing, casual conversation, and getting "drunk" off of crappy rip-off water with no real nutritional value. And being this tired makes one irritable, especially when not used to such a long night.

At around 6:30 am, someone noticed that the princess, who normally joined the bard in Saturday night performances, was no where to be seen. This worried everyone, and soon, arguments began to fill the room. Not just arguments, but also accusations of someone among the crowd being a kidnapper or a spy for the Elves. 

2 kids in particular, Paladin Butters and Ranger Scott Malkinson, really got into it. As the Paladin had confirmed his feelings for the maiden, and the Ranger was just in a bad mood and wanted to knock someone's lights out for some reason, it was only natural that the 2 would duke it out by the pub. 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The fight only lasted 5 minutes, but it was thrilling nonetheless. It started out verbal, but as the night dragged on, Scott bodyslammed Butters, followed by Butters grabbing Scott's hair. No one really won because both of them were crying. In the end, they decided that it wasn't worth it, and Butters offered to grab a small snack for Scott.


	7. VI

24 hours before...

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

The bath water was sprinkled with rose  petals and the scent of tropical mango. A lavender scented candle in the background helped create an environment that seemed more like a spa than the bathroom of a castle. The dim lighting from the candle could have easily lulled the occupant of the room into a deep slumber. 

A thin arm arose from the tub with a rose petals stuck on it, most likely to check if the lilac nail polish on it was still dry and in place. Luckily, it was, as they were painted 3 hours before this. But even now, it stayed the same color advertised on the bottle.

But, she could feel herself drifting off. She grew tired from the long day of menu planning, getting the final touches on her outfit, creating a playlist for the bard, and even getting a quick work out in before prepping for a spa night. 

Who knew lavender candles and tropical mango could be so relaxing?

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Princess Kenny sat under a cherry blossom tree with the Paladin she admired so much. The breeze blew in to ease the warmth of the summer sun.

"Have you ever thought about love?" the young Paladin inquired.

"Not in a while. My last endeavor in love ended with my money stolen and me being stabbed and left for dead in an alley." 

"Oh, hamburgers. That doesn't sound too fun."

"Nah. But it did teach me a bit about how to tell if someone does truly love you."

Suddenly, a heavy bout of snow began to fall. In the snow, a face could be seen.

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧

Kenny woke up before she could identify the face in the snow. What was supposed to be a calm night was about to end in mystery and fear.


	8. VII

12 hours before...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The carriage was loaded with arrows, bows, swords, a vial of non-lethal poison, and a pink bag filled with tropical scented bath bombs and a $50 gift card to Casa Bonita. As the High Jew Elf stepped in, the posse of goth kids followed. 

"This is actually happening. Today." they collectively thought. 

The carriage left, followed by hundreds of other elves either on horse or on foot. These kids also wanted revenge for the way that the Grand Wizard had treated them, past and present. So, taking part in this plan seemed to be a viable option for them. 

Everyone involved wanted revenge. And today was they day they would receive it.


	9. VIII

The Gathering Hall filled as the day continued. Everyone was nervous and unsure, but today, their mystery would be solved. 

All of Kupa Keep sat on the left of the venue, and guests from other kingdoms filled in on the right. For today, multiple kingdoms would become one in this celebration of togetherness. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

It seems as though most of the royal council had made their way down the aisle. Paladin Butters stood as the Best Man for the Grand Wizard, and naturally, Wendy was to be the maid of honor. The groomsmen were all soldiers of the kingdom, yet there were no bridesmaids. And before, flowers were sprinkled down the aisle like Parmesan cheese on a plate of freshly cooked spaghetti. No one knows who did it, and the rings sat in the middle of the "altar" ready to live on the fingers of a couple bound together by greed. 

A ruler from a foreign land was the first to notice the bride, and thus cued everyone to stand. It seemed that no one could look away from her. 

Her blond hair, which was normally ribboned in pigtails, waved down to her shoulders, with only a crown of crimson red roses holding a thin veil over her sky blue eyes. The makeup on her face was subtle, consisting only of dusty purple eye shadow and bubblegum pink lipstick. A gold charm necklace hung down from her neck, matching a single gold bracelet on her left wrist. The white of her dress was traditional, while the lilac it faded into was not. The gloves on her hands were accented with a light grey, which let her hands stand out. 

When she finally got to the "altar", she could feel the veil being lifted off of her face, and only then did she finally see the Grand Wizard and the fully decorated venue. 

Token stepped out to the couple, slightly unsure of what it was he would do, yet he mustered up every last bit of courage he had to get this over with. 

"Ok... alright. You can do this. Ladies and gentlemen from every kingdom, we are gathered here today to witness the union of the fair maiden, Princess Kenny and The Grand Wizard. Now, before we begin, does anyone object? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I object!" cried a young voice from the crowd. 

"Firkle, shut the fuck up." muttered a gothic voice not too far way. 

"Well, it's only one. So, majority rules. Anyways... Princess Kenny, do you take the Grand Wizard to be your unlawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." she said with no hesitation. 

"And, Grand Wizard, do you take Princess Kenny to be your unlawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." he said with a devilish smirk on his face. 

Scott Malkinson hurried towards them, holding the rings on a silk pillow. The Princess took the larger one, and placed it on the ring finger of the Grand Wizard, and the Grand Wizard did the same to the Princess. 

She looked up to him quite happily, yet her eyes seemed sad. A somewhat opposite to the groom she was facing, who was happy all around. 

No vows were exchanged, as no one had anything to say. 

"So, now, by the power vested in me by this bible that was stolen from the local Roman Catholic church, I now pronounce you man and wife."

Paladin Butters came in holding 2 crowns. The Grand Wizard kneeled, and was officially crowned king, followed by the Princess, who was now officially a queen. 

"If you want, you can kiss the bride, I guess."

Just so it would seem official, he took her in his arms and pecked her on the cheek. Lightly.


	10. IX

The festivities kicked off without a hitch. As soon as the bond was sealed with the "kiss", everyone migrated to the hall, which was overflowing with snacks, "fairy ale", other drinks, and packages either wrapped in bright colored paper or tucked away in bright paper bags. 

A popular wedding tradition among the kingdoms is for the rulers of each of the different kingdoms to offer a drink to the princess, as a symbol of solidarity, hospitality, and unity. 

One by one, kings came up to the princess with their concoctions, yet one by one, they saw as her face gave off a look of boredom. That could explain why they were all floored when she seemed impressed with the High Jew Elf's drink.

"Hmm.... mainly orange and cranberry, but with a hint of strawberry. I quite like it!" she said. 

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The bard began to strum on an ukulele to the tune of "Can't Help Falling In Love With You", prompting everyone to gather around as the newlywed couple danced. It was awkward, as any first dance would be, but it still held some sort of sentiment. 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Not too long after the dance, the High Jew Elf found himself drawn to the Princess, who was slouched on the table. Her face was flushed, yet the rest of her skin was whiter than a sheet of paper. He sat down next to her in an effort to bring comfort. 

"Did that dance tire you out?" he inquired. 

"Maybe. My head just hurts. These lights are quite bright." she replied.

"They are, you're right. I'll bring this up to the Grand Wizard." he said as he stood up and walked over to him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Not too long after the Grand Wizard turned down the lanterns, Stan approached him at a running speed with his sword right in front of him. Luckily, with his staff, he was able to dodge the attack and land one back. While that raged on, multiple more warriors flodded in through the outside entrance with weapons drawn. They all fought for at least 30 minutes.

Finally, the battle ended, and they all looked on to find the Princess gone.


	11. X

The fighting raged on. The Princess, however, was not aware of this. She raised her head to try to call to the Wizard, but the battle cries muffled any other sounds. So, she stood in an effort to get his attention.

Her legs felt like jelly, and she fell backwards into the arms of the High Jew Elf. 

"You're safe with me, dear Princess." he whispered in her ear as the world grew hotter and faded to black.

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

She woke up in a carriage of sorts. Her head lay in the lap of the High Jew Elf as the goth warriors stared her down. Bows and arrows were scattered on the floor as the carriage rocked gently on the dirt road. 

As she looked up, the bright light bulb inside shone straight into her eyes, causing an intense migraine. And the world only seemed to get hotter, like the fires that raged in Hell. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

When she awoke again, she was on a couch with Tweek and Feldspar on both ends, their hands intertwined behind the Princess. The room seemed to be completely silver, from the floors to the walls. A golden chandelier hung from the ceiling to provide some light. To her right, 2 red curtains were tied together with a yellow rope, obviously holding some sort of secret. 

Feldspar noticed that she was conscious and went to sit her up. Tweek immediately rose from the couch, ready to grab whatever she needed to soothe her pain. Unfortunately, her stomach decided that sitting upright was not in her best interests, and she threw up all over her stunning dress. 

"Great," she thought, "here I am. Kidnapped on my wedding day, and now I'm sick. Can this get any worse?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Feldspar had the idea to move her out of the dress, and into a spare robe. He also laid her back down on the couch and had a glass of water on the end. She propped her head onto her arm in hopes of getting at least somewhat comfortable. 

She was about to fall back asleep when she heard a very shrill yell from the castle entrance.

##################################

A long fight between the Grand Wizard and the High Jew Elf ended with an arrow in the back of the elf. At first, no one knew where it came from. But then, the glaring sparkles and the chocolate scent of the arrow gave it all away. 

Princess Kenny was standing on the sofa with her bow and arrows in hand. Her face was flushed and her eyes were glassy, but at least she was alive. The robe had hung loosely on her small, pale frame. 

"You held your own, my fair lady." the Grand Wizard retorted.

She stepped down, and while she took that last step, she had given into the growing darkness and heat as she fell into the arms of her closest ally. 

"Sorry for ruining everything," she said softly.


	12. XI

A few days had passed since that strange wedding. 

Now, the Princess was fully recovered, and she could get back to her normal activities. Walking about the kingdom seemed to help her ease her mind, especially with all of the newly blooming flowers. 

The elf kingdom continued as normal after being defeated. 

All seemed to be at peace once again.


End file.
